Where's the love?

Hmmm, I've been thinking about the swing between times of a public atmosphere that expects people to treat each other with respect and the times we're in now, when ranting and publicly directing anger or disgust against a person or group of people is in the forefront.

This is what I've come up with so far: We all have a whole range of feelings, from ugly to beautiful. We also each have a good mind and we can decide whether we want to put action to those feelings.
(Will I slam the door and scream at my sweetie and get my moment of satisfaction....followed by a feeling of separation, or choose something different....)

Steven Covey of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" says there is always a gap between reaction and response. His idea is to notice it and stretch the time of the gap to give our mind a chance to work.

If we don't have a safe place to express those ugly feelings with people who won't confuse our feelings with the smart, kind, cooperative, loving, creative people we are, then we're more likely to use any audience we can find, including public forums or actions to "clean out the pipes".

I think of the safe places as compost bins. We get the "manure" out, including feelings of being blamed and humiliated, in the presence of loving people; or to animals and trees, you know, nature; who respect our privacy and our need to blurt. The gunk gets out and does no harm, and Mother Earth composts it.

Maybe because historically we've had to run from the saber-toothed tiger and then find food and shelter, society didn't have time or tolerance to develop the structure of a few places where we can safely and privately vent, and also to be reminded of our goodness and connection with the world and everything in it.

Whatever the reason, we can create these safe places now to dump, jump, rage, cower and cry, and be reminded by the trees, our animal companions, a loving presence that this will pass; so we can free up our massively creative brains to come up with new solutions.


​And then firm, loving boundaries and kindness and respect won't feel forced on us. We'll choose.

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